How To Protect Your Special Needs Child

As the oldest of 5 children, the caregiver role came naturally to me. Three of my siblings are 8, 10, and 14 years younger than me and they aren’t what you call “neurotypical”. This early experience and later, motherhood to two “neurodiverse” children, gave me the tools I needed to help other caregivers and supporters of special needs children.

Adriane S. Grace | Law Office of Adriane S. Grace

What I love most about being an attorney who helps caregivers and supporters of special needs children is their resilience. They come to my law office with meticulous goals, intelligent questions, and “can-do” attitudes. They know the caregiving path can be bumpy, but that with a good compass, they can navigate it!

I advise caregivers of special needs children to engage in these 3 ways so that they can fully protect their children into adulthood.

1. Be their advocate.

Easy, right? You’ve been doing this your child’s whole life! If your child will soon “age out” of the educational system, it’s time to re-use your school advocacy skills and pivot. Be sure to enroll your child in public benefits programs and community supports and services designed to provide social skill development or vocational training, housing, medical and respite care. Some of these programs are free; provided by the government through Social Security, the Texas Workforce Commission and HHS/Medicaid. It’s essential to learn about these options early because the wait times are long (10-12 years in some cases!).

2. Be their protector.

No doubt you’ve got this! If you are reading this article, I know you made sure your special needs child received every intervention you could afford or advocate for, and all the medical care necessary to maximize their development. Don’t stop when they turn 18! Unfortunately, the world is filled with people who prey upon, and exploit the weaknesses of other adults. The law does not “notice” when your child is disabled. Instead, it “presumes” your child is fully equipped at 18 to make every decision known to adulthood, without assistance from another adult. This presumption often works an injustice to young adults who are neurodiverse and their caregivers.

If you know your child will require your full support for the rest of their life, then take the legal steps to become their permanent guardian. Being their legal guardian ensures you have full authority to protect them. The guardianship process can be started through the probate court when your child turns 17.5 so that you are a guardian by their 18th birthday. Once the process is complete, you are their guardian for life. Alternatively, if you think your child is capable of making good decisions and just needs some guidance, visit with an estate planning attorney about creating supportive legal documents that allow you to talk to your child’s doctors, employers, and financial institutions. That way, you can continue participating in complex decision-making, even after they turn 18.

3. Secure your legacy for them.

A “legacy” is the way you want to be remembered, and the way you want your loved ones treated after you die. All caregivers want to ensure their loved ones have a safe and secure future. But planning for the future involves tough discussions. That’s why it’s so important to be guided in these conversations by experienced professionals. Financial planners and estate planning attorneys can help you overcome the natural fear of the unknown. These planners help by creating actionable plans that will secure the life you want for your special needs child, and provide continuity of care. Life insurance and investment products, Wills, special needs trusts, and guardianship—when we take time to design a plan, our future, and that of our loved ones, begins to feel more certain. When we feel certain, we grow confident in our ability to tackle life’s next hurdle. We become resilient.